Monday, October 10, 2011

Rebuilding Your Broken Marriage

I’m posting here the sermon points from yesterday.  For the full length video and the broader context of the sermon, go to our church website, and click the “watch sermons” category.

Rebuilding Your Broken Marriage: Ephesians 5:21-33

Three Assumptions:

  1. A Recommitment to a relationship with Christ (or the establishment of a new)
  2. Reaffirm desire for reconciliation with spouse
  3. Re-consecration of the marriage to the Lord

I.  Seek help and Intervention – agree together to get help

  • Diffuse the immediate crisis
  • Seek Godly help and counsel
  • Keep intensity level down by having a referee

II. Rework the Communication System

  • Make your communication Honest but not Hostile
  • Identify the core issues – what’s underneath the surface?
  • Resolve issues, do not regurgitate them
  • Receive coaching and clarification

III. Create a Process for Restoring Trust

  • Eliminate distractions
  • Define acceptable behavior
  • Create and environment of openness and vulnerability
  • Expect accountability as a necessity – accountable to spouse and to others
  • Set markers to celebrate

IV. Draft a Plan for Personal Health

  • Immerse in a healthy Christian culture/environment
  • Immerse the mind and heart in the transforming power of scripture and prayer
  • Eradicate unhealthy and unholy behaviors
  • Conduct periodic evaluation and have consistent accountability

Real Marriage, Real Expectations

After preaching this sermon recently, we received a request for the the points to be posted.  For the full sermon and broader context of the points please go to our website, and view the full length video under the “watch sermons” category.

Real Marriage, Real Expectations  --  Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-8; Colossians 3:18-21

The Pyramid of Expectations

Top Tier: The Lord expects of your marriage relationship:

  • Faithfulness and Loyalty
  • Respect and Love
  • Encouragement and Nurture

Second Tier: Your Spouse expects:

A. Realistic examples -

  • You will set Christ as a priority and will lead or follows as Christ guides
  • You will not physically, verbally or in any way emotionally
  • You will not be the manipulated object of the relationship
  • Your spouse can know where you are and what you’re doing at any time
  • That you will be honest and fully disclose, not deceptive, about matters and issues
  • That you will include your spouse in decisions, especially when they affect family or the other person in some way
  • That you will inform your spouse of any untoward advances or awkward situation that you encounter

B. Unrealistic examples -

  • That my spouse can make me happy
  • That my spouse can be everything I need them to be
  • That my spouse can meet all my needs
  • That my spouse is perfect
  • That my spouse can change or fix me – or I change or fix them
  • That my spouse can fulfill me
  • That my spouse should be the center of our universe

Third Tier: Individual Expectations – of yourself in personal growth and in relationship with the Lord.